"Now I proved myself that life is a beautiful flower of creation. But, don't know if my life is so or not!" begins 'JEEVAN: KAANDA KI PHOOL' [LIFE: WHETHER A THORN OR A FLOWER], a widely acclaimed book in Nepali literature these days. It is anthology of autobiographical essays by Jhamak K Ghimire, who is born with 'cerebral palsy' in 1980 in Dhankuta, Nepal.
All the essays reflect her struggle with physical disability in order to live with optimism and express her thoughts ands emotions through written words.
To general readers, the anthology appeals their senses with vivid descriptions of her attempts to outweigh situation of not being able to speak, walk and move hands. In a surprising contrast to her physical conditions, her mind and heart are so active that have always been producing powerful thoughts and emotions. Adding up to her inborn disabilities, the family and the society further offered physical and psychological tortures. She was always trying to 'do something' defying boundaries set by her physique and consequent socio-cultural commands. So, her activities would always agitate her family members and society, which in turn led her to encounter more immediate hardships.
In the initial phase of her life, she was experiencing a "thorny" life, when people in her contact - including her parents - wished her to meet death, in order to escape potential hardships of life. However, she faced all these attacks so bravely that society later turned to appraise her and her works. She began to learn read and write letters with direct and indirect support from her sister, though her parents were against it. She used to scribble the letters on earth or stone with bamboo-bricks, coal or mere bare toes; resulting physical pain and bleeding at one side, and shouts from parents at the same time. She had to cry long and protest hard in order to make her parents buy pen and papers to her for the first time.
As soon as she began to write with her left foot, the surrounding perceived it as a miracle. As a result, people began to visit her to satisfy their curiosity on how she could communicate without speaking.
As she had creative thoughts and emotions right from her early days, writing ability enabled her to express them to other people. So, she started writing poems, articles and drawing pictures; after she got sufficient vocabularies and writing rules from the literatures she went through.
With the support of many helping hands, she later expanded her horizons to be a columnist for a widely popular national daily. This further enabled her to establish and strengthen her recognition. So far, she has written nine whole books, in different genres: poetry, stories, essays and articles. Consequently, she has received tens of awards and prizes for the words she expresses.
Her experiences during the armed conflict and movements for democracy are more painful. Primarily, her humanitarian heart was tortured by news of attacks, wars and killings. Further, members of war-involved parties would carry out searches to her place and possessions to see if she to is involved in "suspicious activities". On the other hand, some people would perceive her appeals for freedom and democracy through writing as political agenda of some specific parties. However, there is no stopping Jhamak- she continued to write whatever she felt and thought.
Now, Jhamak has already written a lot. But, she is still writing, for she says "Pen connects me with the world. Living without a pen might be possible, but not easy and natural at all." She will be walking the same path, because she believes, "No more life for only self. I have to live for others. How long I live, I will live for my society, my nation and my world."
