Neutral Condolence

Yes, I have to write something about death of Girija Prasad Koirala (GPK).

Pages of newspapers on Sunday and Monday and programs of all radios and TVs on Saturday and Sunday were filled with appreciation of the late leader. They introduced him as "the greatest leader of the era in Nepal", "the towering freedom fighter", Guardian of the nation" and so on.

However, I personally think that GPK was one of the most criticized politicians in his lifetime. Many people - from laymen to established think-tanks - have blamed him for being autocrat and hypocrite.

It is not unnatural because every personality is blending of strengths and weaknesses. GPK has contributed a lot for establishment of peace, democracy, and liberty in our country. He is mastermind behind today's on-going political transformation. BUT, it is also not lie that he was somehow autocrat. He had many times prioritized his family than his own political party, and the nation. His love for the daughter was uncountable!

Among many critics of Koirala, I found three interesting as well as thoughtful : Gagan Thapa (Youth Leader of Nepali Congress), Khagendra Sangraula (Political writer) and Moda Nath Prasrit (Former UML leader and writer). Thapa, after death of the leader, in a radio interview says, "Person near death forgets selfishness. Despite his previous self-centered actions, Girijababu lying in his deathbed didn't talk about his daughter. Neither he talked about Koirala family, nor about Nepali Congress. He generously suggested Prime Minister and Prachand a to lead the nation. This final act has outweighed all his selfish words and actions. He proved himself a national leader". Sangraula, who hardly appreciates anyone, writes, "His presence on the streets used to be inspiration of courage and strength for us during street movement after Gyanendra's takeover. He was the only tall, credible, and effective guardian able to stare at Gyanendra's Marshall ruling." He further opines, "Statue of Tribhuvan is placed above statues of four martyrs at Sahidgate. That place of respect is now for Girijababu". I, so far, have not got opportunity to know what Prasrit is thinking on him, after his death. If you know something, please share...

Heartfelt condolence to GPK, the great leader as well as the great autocrat.

CWISH to survey on child protection

Diwakar Pyakurel

Kathmandu, 19 March

CWISH, a human-rights organization, is going to conduct a survey on child protection among urban poor women next week.

The organization has planned to conduct 'Study on Child Sexual Abuse: Understanding & Protection Practices among Urban Poor Women' among 200 women from different 10 sites of the Kathmandu valley.  

According to the researcher organization, the outcome of the survey will help assess women's understanding and practice of child protection, service of service-provider agencies and also recommend for effective policies.

In the survey, the women's understanding, and practices on protection of children from abuses will be assessed, according to Writu Bhatta, Program Coordinator of CWISH. The questionnaire of the survey focuses on women's understanding of child sexual abuse (CSA) and protection of children from it. According to Bhatta, 100 of total participants will be already aware of child protection issues, while rests 100 might not be familiar with it. "Therefore it works as a comparative study of their understanding", she says.

For the survey, 10 enumerators are already selected and they are going to begin the research on coming Sunday.

The data collection stage is planned to finish by next Saturday. However, it takes some more time to analyze and present it, the source said.

Get a goal

"A person without a goal is a monkey."

I used to her this saying frequently when I did not know anything about goal, even its literal meaning. That time, I thought it is all lie, because I was not monkey! But when I grew up gradually, I began to realize seriousness and truth contained in this silly statement.

In early teenage, we may have a number of goals, not a single one. We want to be "jack of all". Gradually we begin to realize that our capabilities are limited as the time and space available to our life. We step   by step subtract our goals and reduce it into single one. This seems a logical way for goal setting. (But WAIT – Don't try to reduce even after it is one. Otherwise, it will be zero, and you will be goalless.)

Having too much goal is really a problem. You can not move to east and west at the same time. If you try to do that, you will be pressured by two opposing forces and thus feel trapped and weak in yourself, and both of these two sectors.

However, it does not mean that a successful person is restricted to one profession .In fact, multi-professional people have also achieved great success with great satisfaction all over the world. Ronald Reagan was a successful politician and a popular actor at the same time. In Nepal too, BP Koirala is one of the most acknowledged leader as well as story writer. However, you need to have strength to maintain balance between and among such professions. It will be easier if the sectors, though different in one way, are interconnected and provide a common space. One can be journalist and a littérateur at the same time, because both are games of the words and their intersect-ground exists. One can be teacher and leader simultaneously. But, it will be very hard and required exceptionally great effort for him/her to be an athlete-cum-professor. A very narrow, if any, ground exists there sharing quality of both professions.

The more problematic than multiple goals is not having goal at all. And, it is seen in our society that most early youths are in such a circumstance. "M…………, I want to be …... To tell the truth, I don't have any goal so far……. Suggestions please…………..", most of our friends tend to reply in such ways if they are asked to tell the goal of their life. For it, not only youths are responsible. Our social and cultural values do not guide us to determine and attempt for a specific mission in our life. Rather, it tells "whatever you will meet in your future is already assigned to you before birth". Opposing to general Western belief, our culture thinks that fate guides our life, not our actions. Fatalism leads us beyond goal setting orientation.

So what to do? For success in your life, you need to have a goal.  If you have fixed a goal already, try to make it more specific and attainable and initiate your attempts to achieve it. If you are still in confusion about your future, think immediately and decide your goal. But how to find out appropriate and attainable goal?

Setting the goal

Before discussing about how to set a good goal, lets try to define what a good goal is. Great Poet of Nepali literature opines, "Lets take the goal to fly and touch the moon" (Uddesya ke linu udi chhunu Chandra eka. ) It means that our goal should be quite ambiguous and great. However, modern experts opine that our goal should be as specific and attainable as possible.

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia defines, "A goal or objective is a projected state of affairs that a person or a system plans or intends to achieve—a personal or organizational desired end-point in some sort of assumed development." And www.mygoals.com has defined a good goal as "For our purposes, a good goal is one that is worthy of individual pursuit. And that is so highly subjective, far be it from us to define what your worthy pursuit is…………. A good Goal plan is one that when followed, offers a reasonably high probability of success, given sufficient time."

Here are some tips to find out your goal:

·         Observe and study your own behaviours. What interests you most?

·         Assess your strengths and weaknesses. What do you have? What can you do? Know that your life is for those strengths, so follow them. If possible, try to minimize those weaknesses. If you can't, let it be.

·         Know yourself and think critically. Don't follow blindly what other people say. However, don't hesitate to listen their suggestions.

·         Don't lose your confidence. Be optimist.

Traditional goal-setting wisdom has taught us that a good goal must be a) written, b) challenging, c) believable, d) specific, e) measureable, and f) have a specific deadline." However, this traditional formula is outdated now because of rapid development of technologies.

Even then, it is better to follow 'SMART' formula for a better goal. SMART stands for:

 a) Specific,

b) Measurable,

c) Attainable,

d) Relevant

e) Time-bound.

'Life Skills: A guide book for teenagers' published by UNICEF Nepal suggests thinking on following, when one goal of self:

a)      What do I need to do to attain my goal?

b)      What might be the challenges on the way?

c)       How can I overcome those challenges?

d)      Who can help me?

Our destination shows the way and speed to approach it. Determination of our goal is a basic for what profession should we choose. On the other hand, "who has to reach farther walks faster" – meaning, the person progresses better and more quickly, who has a greater goal. Hurry up so, and get a goal. 

The business strategy

Please read the joke and enjoy.

Childhood Dreams and Decisions

"I want to be a doctor."........"I love teaching"..........."I am born to fly over the sky"........................

Ask a child, who is before or in early teenage, about his/her goal, you can find differing answers from time to time. Their dreams in this age have been easily influenced by external factors like, time, place, family background, and friend circle. Because of multiple wishes, it will be hard for him/her to achieve anything.However, if children are encouraged to set their goals and dreams in proper way, their desires can be made specific and thus attainable.

Yes, children do not have sufficiently developed intelligences - and they can not take in mind every aspect in decision making. Therefore, they are so unstable in decision making that they can be easily shifted from one to another decision frequently. 

However, early teenagers are DEVELOPING intelligences and decision making skills. And thus they can think of some apparent (if not all) aspects of the issue. On the other hand, the decision they make are products of their psychological and intellectual interest. They are combinations of their heart and mind. They are their inner wishes. But, they might not be goals. They can turn them into goals, if they find proper guidance from adults.

For goal setting of a child and a teenager, we need to identify his/her weaknesses or strength. The goal will be achievable only if it is backed up bye what you have and what can you do, not by what you don't have. One can be a good teacher in future, if s/he is quite societal, interactive and friendly in childhood. It will be joke for one who can't draw a picture of self to dream of being a painter!

If we want our little sisters' and brothers' dreams come true, it is our duty to help them recognize their weaknesses, and strengths.  

Happy Women's Day!

"Equal rights, equal opportunities: Progress for all"

With the theme mentioned above, we are celebrating 100th Women's Day. On the occasion, I want to wish all people (not only women), who want to create equality among men and women. 

Still, we people feel that Women's Day is only for women. Further, some even seek for Men's Day. On the other hand, some women and ultra-feminists blame men have been making 364 days MEN'S and leaving this day for women. I think both are untrue and against equality.

We have to understand clearly that this Women's Day and all feminist privileges such as reservation are in existence and practice because present world is patriarchal. Once it will become equal to both men and women, we don't need Women's Day, neither we have to advocate for reservations. Feminism also will die that day.

Therefore, this is better and more appropriate for both men and women to  act for equality with thinking, speaking and doing, as far as possible. And make possible our dream come true! Lets not celebrate Women's Day as the day to blame men, but as an urge to initiate ourselves for equality between these two sexes. Happy Women's Day once again.

DYF gets new secretariat

 Diwakar Pyakurel

Kathmandu, 6^th March

Dynamic Youth Forum (DYF), a youth club network, has elected new secretariat committee for next year.

Annual workshop of DYF, which affiliates more than 10 community and college-base youth clubs, held on Friday and Saturday at Bal Byawasayi School, Kathmandu has elected 13 member committee chaired by Ganga Rai.

Rai was also the president of DYF for last year also. The workshop elected Prasun Shreshtha of Ex-Students' Club, Bipin Shereshtha of Siddhantasheel Youth Club, Bhawana Bhattarai of Gangahiti Youth Club and Ratnamaya Shreshtha of Chetana Youth Club as Vice-President, Secretary, Joint-Secretary and Treasurer respectively. Similarly, the members of newly elected committee are Kyamuna Khatri (Balkot Youth Club), Inchu Danuwar (Domestic Workers' Forum), Rosika Shahi (Student Awareness Society), Anil Katuwal (Siddhantasheel Youth Club) and Sumitra Lamsal (Chetana Youth Club). The secretariat is yet to elect one member from Students' In Social Reform.

All were elected unanimously except Secretary Shershtha, who defeated Mugendra Gautam of Student Awareness Society in voting.

The two-day workshop reviewed activities and programs of last year by the secretariat and its affiliated clubs. It also developed plans of action for each club, according to newly elected secretary Bipin Shereshtha.

Newly elcted President Ganga Rai committed to improve on DYF expansion in the next year. She also acknowledged all helping hands and also requested for help further.

Dynamic Youth Forum was established three years ago as a youth club. Later it has developed itself as a network of various youth clubs working on similar issues. Now DYF has its clubs in three districts of Kathmandu valley.

Inspirations and Ideals

"Which woman is the best inspiration for you?"
In a program organized to celebrate soon-to-come International Women's Day, I face such question.Surely, it is an interesting question, though I couldn't find the answer easier. The focused participants of the program were some school girls, most of them mentioned their mothers or teachers as their inspirations.
I thought for some minutes: Don't I have inspiration from any woman? Or can't or don't I want to acknowledge them? Answers of both questions are "NO" to me. But, why can't I tell them who is my inspiration?

Still I am zeroing in on it. Now, I have some ideas.
No person (I unconsciously wrote here "man" first, but deleted and placed "person" for inclusive language) is perfect. To be ideal is to be perfect, so no person is ideal for me. As many people opine that human beings are made-up of unique mixture of intelligence and stupidity. When I think of any seemingly ideal person, first I want to mention him/her as an inspiration and ideal. Later, however, I remember the ugly truth of human life that no one is faultless. So, I so far haven't mentioned anyone as my single or specific source of inspiration.
It doesn't mean that I don't have any inspirations. Yes, I do have many, and today's m living is guided and influenced by many people. They all are inspiration for me, but they are not solely inspirations. Their motivation to me is only partial. If I just mention names of 2-3 person, it would be injustice for others, I think so.
However, you might argue that among many, there can be some top priorities . Yes, there can be. My weakness appears here. I haven't (tried to) set my priority-list of top inspirations. I am now thinking to do it. When I'll do, I surely share with you, if you don't hesitate to know it!

But, I am feeling sorry to those schoolgirls, who didn't find my answers. I was supposed to be able to answer it, by I couldn't. I apologize with  you, my lovely sisters!

Miscultured Festival of Colours

"Have a safe and Happy Holi". "स्वस्थ र रमाइलो होली खेलौ ।"

WE (me and one of my friends - lady) were surprized to get a handbill/leaflet with this message from  a group of teenaged students yesterday. Suprize because, just before few minutes, we were attacked with a Lola, full of water by someone unknown of similar age.

Holi is supposed to be "festival of Colours", and colours are what make our life live. Colours of Holi (are supposed to) represent different modes and moments of human life. If played with friends and relatives safely, happily and healthily, the celebration symbolizes our colours of life. But, the reality in front of us is far from what is expected to be.

Probably many sane citizens of this country have felt that this holy festival of Holi is being as dirty and unhealthy as water filled in the Lolas. The festival of friendship and joy has appeared as chance of countless cruelty, attack of Lolas to unknown people. Mostly, ladies of teen and youth age have been suffering a lot from this irritating misculture. Interestingly, more of the Lola-throwers are males and most of them want their targets to be females. Yet, many many girls are also enjoying stupidity of this misculture. And, similarly to those of males, they want their targets to be of opposite sex. Why do people want to throw Lolas to opposite sex? Is such a trend new or customary for years? Does it apply to only urban areas or rural districts?- I do know nothing about the answers, if you know please share...

BUT, what I know is this tradition is not good and suitable for a civilized and developed society. First of all the Holi is to be celebrated with own friend circle and family members, only if they enjoy it. You can't get joy by making other people suffer. You don't have any rights to celebrate any festival by destroying other people's right to walk freely on public streets. 

Anyway, for this year, I am quite happy because of the leaflet mentioned above. In past years, I never had got such wishes. I with this write-up want to share the same wish "Have a safe and Happy Holi". "स्वस्थ र रमाइलो होली खेलौ ।".

"Planned Result" of "Fair Voting"

Yesterday I was in a small election program as an observer. In fact, it was for reformation of a youth club, established by some students of a college. The college is well-known in Kathmandu valley and has more than 1000 students. However, the club only includes students from one single faculty of its Bachelor level.

I also had observed election of the same club previous year also, and there the coordinator was unanimously elected. However, this year I knew that 3 students were competing for the post. Fortunately (for the candidates themselves), only vice-coordinator and Joint-treasurer were unanimously elected. Other candidates faced election! There were 2 for a secretary, 2 or 3 for a joint-secretary and a treasurer. Nine students were competing for 5 posts of member.

ELECTION - everyone expects fairness and right judgment. I was also expecting so, but it went wrong. The founder coordinator of the club now has become a staff of the same college, and this day he was chief of the election committee. (Don't think anything wrong, he is my old and good friend: and I believe he can face this accusation.) Now he can't do anything as he wishes because he is now chief of election committee, formed for fairness of the election. How can we blame him?

However, he had prepared a lot for the election before. He had a full panel in deed. 

Before the voting begins, all the candidates were given a minute for speech in front of their voters. I am not going to give you all the details. But, only of views of candidates for coordinator. As said, there were three- two female and a male. The first male candidate spoke on his plans to run the club with better and more creative planning than the previous leadership. No one expected more words from the second candidate (female), because she began with "Actions speak louder than words".  She said that she would do better since she had exhausted a year in the club as vice-coordinator. Further, she said that it is women's turn for leadership, because there were already 2 male coordinators in the last two years. (In appearance, it seemed quite one-sided, but the fact was that 90% of total voters were female.) Reacting on her speech, the male candidate immediately said that male and female have equal rights and responsibilities. The election committee however managed the row! The third's candidate's speech was not so important that she got 4 votes out of 53.

The male was supported by that man, my old and good friend. Apparently we neutral observers had found that the female candidate is far better than him, not only in words, but also in actions. The result came. Not surprisingly (because we already had known that the boy had got support from my friend), he won 32 votes against 17 of that lady. I felt poor and helpless! This was "planned result of a fair election". 

Since yesterday's event, I have began to suspect on fairness of all the elections. I now realize that election does not necessarily bring out democracy and good governance. First we need to develop a strong sense of judgment on the minds of voters, so that it can't be guided by weak logics of some influencing man. This applies to election of all level- from a intra-college club to the nation. What do you think?

The greatest Art ?

"Every art requires trainig and you can do it in this world. Stealing is the only subject, for which you can't find trainging facility, nevertheless it is no less artistic than anything else."

It's not a deep thought, neither it is a report on present situation in Kathmandu. It's just my experience. I thought it is better to share my experience with you.

Yesterday, I visited book exhibition being held at City Hall, Kathmandu by Sajha Prakashan. It was well for a book-lover, I was spent nearly 3 hours in shallow observation of hundreds of books. Surprisingly to you, I only bought a book which costs NRS 50.25. 

I caught a micro-bus to Kapan at Ratnapark. I felt myself lucky entering to the vehicle, because it is impossible for a passenger of Kapan-routed micro-bus to get a seat at Ratnapark at that time (nearly 5pm).  And, I had got it!

The bus micro arrived in front of  NAC Building (still popularly known as RNAC). As expected there were dozens of people waiting for the micro. They all wanted to take on their vehicles. Nearly, this micro also added 10 people. Among them, two were mother and daughter. Just after a minute of their taking-on, the daughter touched her pocket and whispered her mom that she has lost her cell. 

What had happened in fact was the girl was so protective and cautious for her possessions that she had been keeping her hands in her pocket of her jacket, in which she had kept her cell. Someone "professional" thief was watching it and as soon as the girl put off her hand to take on the vehicle, the professional man/woman dragged the cell from her pocket. 

This might seem to you common in Kathmandu. But the mom's reaction was quite unexpected. At first, she said, "Cell gone? Khuchching! I won't buy another to you." She continued her long diatribe against her girl, on the other hand the victim was hiding her face. According to the mom, she had suspended two male faces as "thief", but couldn't help the girl. 

The passengers of the bus talked about the same incident during my journey to Kapan. The hooker quote given in the first paragraph was one said by a passenger, which I found not only interesting, but also realistic too! What do you think?

Domestic workers elect new committee

Diwakar Pyakurel

Kathmandu, 6 February

The first domestic workers' union in South Asia NIDWU has elected its new central committee for next four years.

The first national convention of Nepal Independent Domestic Workers' Union (NIDWU) held in Kathmandu on Friday has elected the new committee chaired by Sonu Danuwar. Danuwar herself was the chairperson for last three years since the union was established.

The convention unanimously elected Vice-Chairperson, General Secretary, Secretaries and five members.  Sushila Chaulagain and Rohini Prasad Dahal were elected Vice-Chairperson and General Secretary respectively. Similarly, Ganesh Danuwar, Bechan Mahato and Sunita Ghimire were respectively elected Economic, Education & Publication and Female Secretaries. The convention elected Bina Magar, Rekha Karki, Inchu Danuwar, Saraswati Danuwar and Srijana Tamang as members.   Two members of the committee will be nominated later.

Shanti Adhikari, CA member of CPN (UML) and a human rights activist as well, congratulated the newly elected committee.

Inaugurating the convention, Chairperson of General Federation of Nepalese Trade Unions (GeFONT) Bishnu Rimal, who is also a CA member from CPN (UML), congratulated and acknowledged those who are united for freedom and rights. He also committed to guarantee rights of laborers in the new constitution and other related laws. Representatives of various labor organizations and NGOs expressed their good wishes for success of the convention.

The convention also amended its Bidhan provisioning three secretaries. It also extended the working period of the central committee to four years from three years. The convention also passed Organizational and Financial Report of the union.

Censor board bans Das Dhunga

Kathmandu

Film Censor Board has banned Nepali movie 'Das Dhunga" which is based on the suspicious death of Madan Bhandari, then general secretary of CPN-UML.

The board has decided not to allow the film for public show since "it may jeopardize good relation between neighbouring countries, and cause anarchy on streets". However, Opil Bista, producer of the film has announced to defy decision of the board.

"The board has asked me to change a ten-minute scene. I can't do it because it's heart of my film", says Bista. He further revealed his plan to show the film to lawyers, politicians and scholars. "Only if they find something objectionable, I'll cut the dialogues", he says.

Manoj Pandit, director of the film says that the board's decision is unnecessary, since the film has taken various reports of Das Dhunga probing committees, including one formed by then government.

Want Success?

Want Success?
What are the prerequirements to get success in your life? First you may say property, education, and family-support and so on. No doubt, these are necessary conditions for our success. But, what are the things, needed for success in your life, which we do not have to acquire from others? The things, what we already have, but used very little? Listen to me, the things I am going to discuss are 5Cs:- Confidence, Commitment, Courage, Calmness and Creativity.
Confidence is trusting yourself. You can not trust others unless you have trust on you, your thoughts and your behaviors. You have to know what are you doing and why are you doing this. When you trust that the efforts made are leading you and your surrounding towards something good in future, you can now only proceed further for the desired goal. The goal can't be got, without stepping a single step. If you think yourself that what you are doing is not fruitful for you, be sure this can't be completed.
Commitment is the key to open the door of your success. If you have it, you can win the struggles of your life. When you start a work, always try to think - "I have to complete it, so won't stop in the middle". You can cheat your parents, teachers and friends but can't cheat the self. Lack of commitment makes you cheat yourself. You are not only losing time while cheating yourself, but also your current journey of life will be paused in the middle for specific time. Commitment has a special strength, which can conquer your other needs for the respective work. If you have commitment, you are sure to get what you want. Haven't heard the saying, "Where is a will, there is a way."?
You need courage to live your life. Giving up the courage, you can not even move a step in your life. Living a life itself is a great courage, because it encounters various struggles frequently. Courage counterattacks each and every obstacles of your way. Without courage, you have to stop yourself, waiting for someone to rescue you. Courage transfers you from weak into brave, from fool into brilliant and idol into alive human.
Calmness makes you able to handle each and everything that you possess. You need to be calm, in every moment: either it is your beloved's death or your victory in million's lottery. Overexcitement and over disappointment are always harmful, and so avoidable for your successful life. If your life is a journey and you are the vehicle, calmness roles as the appropriate driver for you. If you lose calmness, you may fall into accident, anytime and anywhere.
Creativity gives you the opportunity to colour yourself. Naturally you have some inborn arts and abilities as a human being. You have to recognize and fortify them with your creative mind. By nature, you possess such a magic tool, with which you can build-up, shape and develop your own personality, in which way you like. But, you should use them in creative way for better fruits. In other words, creativity is the unique way of exposing and expressing you in front of this world.

Hey friends, don't be worried. Are you thinking that you don't have these? Nature has given you all, all these qualities. After recognizing them, you can use them every time and everywhere you like, and you need. But, be serious, they are not constant. They may increase or decrease from time to time. Everything about them depends upon the use of them by you. The more you use, the more you get it increased and strengthened, both in quality and quantity.
I think now you all got my idea. I request you not to believe me, closing your eyes. At first, think yourself, test and verify it within your own personal life. Interpret the findings. If you find it false and just pastime, just leave it. If you find it true, please try to apply it in positive attempts and cultivate those contents. If you want, you also can suggest your other friends to think about it.

The Beginning

"All glory comes from daring to begin." -Eugene F. Ware